"Ahhhhhhh . . . what are we going to do about the quarterback situation for next year," Vikings' owner Zygi Wilf asked his personnel guy Rick Spielman.
"Well, coach says he's confident that Tarvaris will continue along his trajectory and that the position is set," Spielman answered, looking up from his bowl of Ramen Noodles.
"Ahhhhh . . . F*%k coach," Zygi matter-of-factly replied, twisting his two brows into one ominous furrow running the width of his forehead. "That goddamn T-Jack isn't helping me sell any tickets and he sure as hell isn't winning the big ones. What else do you have?"
"I think we can get the Rosenfels kid from Houston without too much prying," Spielman replied between slurps of his soup. "They'll probably want a late-rounder for him."
"Ahhhh . . . Didn't we tell the fans that those late-round picks are valuable?" Zygi asked.
"Yeah, we did," Spielman nodded, nearly poking through the bottom of his Styrofoam bowl, "for stuff like this."
"Hmmm....storied franchise, championship team, family," Zygi mumbled. "O.K. Do it if you can, but what's that going to do for ticket sales? Some guy from Iowa State via Houston? Sounds like a non-starter to me."
"It'll be tough," Spielman acknowledged, spilling some soup on his new Dockers khakis. "Coach thinks the kid can play--can push T-Jack to a higher plane."
"Storied franchise, long-term contender, championship-caliber program," Zygi again mumbled. "Get Bob in here."
[PR man Bob Hagan enters room]
"Bob, what's the goddamn story on Rosenfels?" Zygi asked. "If we get him, do we sell tickets?"
"No chance," Hagan confidently replied.
[unintelligible grunts from Zygi]
"Ahhhh . . . What about Favre?" Zygi asked, wedging his hands deep into his pockets. "Any chance we can get the gunslinger?"
"Not sure coach would be too excited about that," Spielman answered. "Likes to throw the ball, control the game flow, call his own plays--not Brad's type of quarterback."
"Ahhh . . . Did I ask what Brad thought?" Zygi asked, his voice nearly rising above a whisper, causing Spielman to fumble his soup bowl and drop it to the floor. "Bob, what's that do for our goddamn sales?"
"Probably through the roof," Hagan replied without hesitation. "Should sell out tickets, sell tons of new merchandise, and tons of beer."
"Ahhhh . . . Goddamn concession deal," Zygi mumbled.
"Do the damn thing," Zygi ordered. "Put Favre in purple for 2009."
"I'll see what I can do," Spielman answered.
"Don't see--do," Zygi retorted.
Up Next: No Downside to Adding Favre